Top Five Reasons and Ways to Take Care of Your Elders (Parents, Grandparents...)

© 2004 Danielle Hollister

There will almost absolutely come a day when your parents and/grandparents will need YOU. When this time comes, they will probably not admit that they need YOU or ANYONE, but in reality, they will definitely need SOMEONE.

It's actually quite similar to the days when you were a tiny baby and you needed them to: survive every day; have help going to the bathroom; be fed a good meal; take a real bath; get dressed appropriately; etc...

You may not remember those days with convincing clarity, but you do know that they existed regardless of what you actually recall.

Your parents/grandparents, (the people who raised you, fed you, took care of you, gave you shelter, gave you love and support...), will someday grow older and NEED you.

Are you ready? Do you have a clue what this involves? Bottom line (if you choose to distance yourself from this natural occurence) is that you have to find the best nursing home/assisted living facility in your area that is suitable for your parent(s)/grandparent(s)...

I have more advice on how to choose the BEST home outside of your home for your parents/grandparents later...

However, if you are at all like me, and you choose to become your parents/grandparents' caretaker, the story is entirely different...

You will need a number of material things, as well as a diverse range of emotions, an undisputed grasp on reality (if that's possible), the ability to put someone (other than your child/children) totally before yourself...

1) Remember that THEY MADE YOU who you are today...

They took care of your every basic need for at least five to ten years... They changed your diaper, gave you a bath, rocked you to sleep at night, ran to your crib in the middle of the night if you were crying... and MUCH MORE - Think about it...

2) Consider the fact that they probably did WITHOUT luxuries ...

like vacations, new furniture, the latest clothing styles, the best vehicles, etc... so that they COULD GIVE YOU THE BEST there was to give...

3) Do not forget that without them, you would not be here.

They CHOSE to have you, to BRING YOU into this world... What can be a more significant sign of love than that?

4) Think about how different and probably HARD life was for them compared to how they made life for you...

It's natural for a parent to want and/or try to give their child/children more or better than what they had growing up... but DO you REALLY appreciate and/or acknowledge this?

5) Your parents/grandparents unarguably made sacrifices in their lives, so that you could have a better life...

Don't you think you should do the same?

How can you give them back what they gave to you?

If you choose to put them in a nursing home/assisted living facility, make it your business to FIND the BEST one there is in your area. Make sure you VISIT your parents/grandparents REGULARLY (at least once or twice a week...)

Get involved at the facility that you chose for them, VOLUNTEER your time and/or donate extra supplies etc...

If you decide to keep your parents/grandparents at home with you, make sure you accommodate their basic needs (ie. wheelchair ramp, hospital bed, assisted in-home nursing care, proper diet, adequate exercise, etc...)

Remember that they're hurting a lot more than you are and a lot more than they'll probably ever tell you. They made a tremendous effort to make your life relatively easy when you were growing up; the least they deserve is to have a life that is comparably comfortable as they live out their golden years.

And for the small percentage of people who read this article and think "My parents/grandparents did not do anything for me growing up..." or "They made my life miserable..." or "They could have done a lot more for me when I was a kid..." etc...

Consider this, you made it to where you are today without their "unconditional love and support" that I described, so although you may not feel that you "owe" them anything...

Maybe you should be a bigger person and reach out to help them in any way you can, in ways that you feel they did not help you... Maybe you will get to know them in a different way, on a different level... and perhaps you will even come to understand why they made the choices they made when you were a child...

If you don't try to reach out to them now, you may never have the chance again.

Once they're gone, you will never be able to get answers to any of your lingering questions...

HIGHLY RECOMMENDED ADDITIONAL RESOURCE:

Quality Care Options - serving seniors and family caregivers throughout the United States.